p169

About Me

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<img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/hot-left.gif" width="200" height="75">
BACK
TO BACK 
OFFICE CHAIR ACTION!!! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-left-chairs.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
These
bad boys recline JUST FOR YOU! 
 
DRINKING
GLASSES 
AT AWKWARD ANGLES! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-left-glass.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
It's
gonna tip... OR IS IT?!?
IBUPROFEN
WITH 
POTENTIAL ENERGY!!! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-left-kinetic.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
All
that energy stored up JUST FOR YOU!
VCR
COUNTERS 
READING ONE SECOND! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-left-vcr.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
In
just ONE SECOND you'll be SPENT!
<a href="P169@YAHOO.COM"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/signup.gif" border="0" width="200" height="75"></a>
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<td><a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/bannerad.gif" border="1" width="468" height="60"></a></td>
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<a href="P169@YAHOO.COM">SIGN
UP NOW FOR A FREE* ONE YEAR** MEMBERSHIP***!!!</a> 
* $19.95 per month 
* One year = one month 
* Membership = "we steal your car" 
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<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/title.gif" border="0" width="574" height="127"></a> 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/main.jpg" border="0" width="600" height="500"></a>
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That's
RIGHT, we here at P169.NET
are unable to afford things like FOOD
or DRINK or WATER
or HEROIN
because THERE IS NO WAY TO
MAKE MONEY FROM THE INTERNET! So we decided
to turn THIS WEBSITE
into the INTERNET'S FIRST HOT,
BORING FETISH SITE! SEX is the only goddamn
thing that GENERATES MONEY
in this GOD-FORESAKEN
WASTELAND OF LIES, so we're finally CASHING
IN and hoping to earn ACTUAL
MONEY instead of PROVIDING
FREE CONTENT to people who INCESSANTLY
COMPLAIN about the quality of their FREE
CONTENT! Welcome to the HOT,
BORING FETISH SITE where we'll TEASE
and TANTALIZE
you with such HIGHLY
NON-EXOTIC fetishes as:
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-
IRAQI CHILDREN with AMERICAN FRUIT AND VEGETABLES! <a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/fetish/example-iraqi.htm" target="_blank">(click
HERE for a FREE PREVIEW)</a> 
- DOWNLOAD STATUS BARS constantly stuck at 57%! <a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/fetish/example-status.htm" target="_blank">(click
HERE for a FREE PREVIEW)</a> 
- WIFE COUNTING; just HOW MANY WIVES does THAT GUY HAVE? TRY
to COUNT THEM ALL! 
- CIVIL WAR HISTORY TEACHERS captured by APE MEN! 
- DUST IN or AROUND dining room TABLES! 
- MEN using COMBS they found AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN
while a SQUID FLOATS BEHIND THEM! 
- SQUIRRELS in HATS! 
- FANTASIES of a TAX REFUND!
</blockquote>
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Once
you get a TASTE of the RAW
ACTION, you'll NEVER
WANT TO GO BACK to your MISERABLE
and utterly PATHETIC
life of HORRID SQUALOR!
So <a href="P169@YAHOO.COM">SIGN UP NOW while MEMBERSHIP IS
ABSOLUTELY 100% FREE*</a> and DO
SOMETHING RIGHT for once in your life! 
* Membership costs
$19.95 per month or possibly more if we decide to bill you
more for no apparent reason.
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<a href="P169@YAHOO.COM">©
2003 P169.NET'S House of HOT BORING FETISH ACTION</a>
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<img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/hot-right.gif" width="200" height="75">
HOT
HOT HOT 
STACKED BOXES!!! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-right-boxes.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
Stacked
with RAW SEXUALITY! 
 
CAT TOYS 
OUT OF REACH!!! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-right-cattoy.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
He
can't grab it... CAN YOU?!?
SMOKE
DETECTORS 
WHICH MAY NOT WORK! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-right-detect.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
There's
a fire... IN MY PANTS!
HALLWAY
DOORS 
THAT ARE UNLOCKED!!! 
 
<a href="http://www.severedties.com"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/sidebar-right-door.jpg" border="0" width="200" height="200"></a> 
You've
got the key to unlock HOT ACTION!
<a href="P169@YAHOO.COM"><img src="http://i.somethingawful.com/fetish/signup.gif" border="0" width="200" height="75"></a>
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