|
The recent and continuing complaints of morons at shows touching and fondling rides that aren't theirs, increases! Will there ever be a cure for this simple-minded trailer park disease? Inquiring minds or maybe just those of who have invested more money than god in our rides want to know. Is it the shiny new paint that lures you in like a bug to a zapper? Is it the dust free, fingerprint free appearance that makes you uncomfortable? Or perhaps because you just feel the need to finally take advantage of the one working brain cell the next-door power plant hasn't radiated you think you need to touch it? I am not sure what your problem is or your cousin's problem and I don't give a shitweasel's butt. But where did you get lost in the etiquette chain? Why would you touch something that A - isn't yours to begin with, B - you couldn't replace if you damaged it, and C - ISN"T YOURS TO BEGIN WITH! I am at show recently, having a good time, drinking a beer, watching naked chics walk by and I glance over at my car to find some fat broad lying under my hood on my fender! Stuck there, like my car was hungry for something plump and juicy. My fender with hours of metal work, hours of paint work, hours of detail work, MY FENDER! And then of course here comes the rage encouraged by the thought of crumpling her up like a piece of paper and I tell her to get the hell off of my car. Of course, she looks at me like I have a problem, not even aware she's my problem! She casually says, "Sorry, just looking." Looking at what? The hood is open; it's clean, no extra wires, no extra cotton balls shoved in my engine bay. What the hell are you looking for that I am not showing you already? I look around the show and it's happening all over.
|
So here's my advice for all you freakin' retarded sewer-sucking leeches. DON'T TOUCH IF IT'S NOT YOURS! If you're naked, your ass better be better looking than Angelina Jolie to touch it! Since when is it cute to flop your bony ass down on my hood or cut up the interior with spike shoes you aren't even old enough to buy? Next, if you are missing teeth, this should be the first sign you can't afford it so AGAIN DON'T TOUCH IT! Also, if you are knocked up or carrying a caravan of rug rats with you, then stay FAR FAR away from the vehicle, because you will still have some dumb ass excuse for why your kid had to touch it and that automatically makes you an idiot for not telling them any better! And most of all if you are hairy, greasy, ugly, saggy, retarded, or don't have a ride of your own - THEN NO, YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT EITHER! For the love of the scene and the safety of what puny little existence you may have please follow these simple rules and you will leave with the same amount of teeth and lard you came with! And from all of us here in the scene, we would like to say thank you and enjoy your show season this year! We are watching you.Keep on rollin' - Christina McCanlies
|
