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Invaders from the Planet Rice.Damn, where do I begin? Is it just me or is the rice brigade invading all the minitruck shows? It seems like every year that goes by and every show I attend there is more and more rice. And I’m not talking about Hot Import Nights, I’m talking about hardcore minitruck shows like Texas Heat Wave, Showfest, and even Minitruck Nats. Everywhere I turn I see the shine of an altezza taillight, or hear the soft bumble bee roar of a fart pipe as I just fell victim to what I refer to as a ricer fly by. For instance, I was on my way to Greenville, MS to attend the famous Showfest, when I pulled up on a line of custom rides with Indiana plates cruising down the interstate. As I pass each one I’m taking it slow, taking a look, checking out what’s what. Then I get to the leader of the pack and it’s this prelude with some rims and a loud fart pipe. As I pass him up all of a sudden I hear him down shift and his fart pipe roars like a baby lion struggling to breathe and a few seconds later he flies by me. Yup, I fell victim to a ricer fly by. But what made this encounter funny was I was driving an SUV with 22s on it. Everything stock except the wheels. Why on earth would a rice boy wanna do a fly by on a SUV? What does that prove? I guess ill never get it.Now on to the next subject at hand. Since the invasion from the Planet Rice it seems as though it has rubbed off on countless minitruckers. Again, everywhere I look I see altezza taillights in trucks. Not only trucks, but cars, minitrucks, SUVs, etc. Why oh why must you follow the rice guy. Your ass end looks soooooo much cleaner with the stock taillights in it rather then them funky made, leaky altezza tails. Heck if you aren’t shaving the tails and you want something different, look for a set of old schools clears. Now those look pretty clean still on a light colored truck. If this is you I’m talking about don’t get mad, get a screwdriver and change your taillights. You’ll thank me in the morning.
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Last but certainly not least we come to big wings and big body kits. Now the occasional lip kit is clean on a car but these rides rollin down the street with a big mouth bass strapped to their front bumper have just got to go. Some one throw them a hook with some bait on it and see if you can reel’em in. And these big wings on the back that looks like your trying to imitate a grocery cart. Do those actually provide you with the down force you need on the back wheels of a front wheel drive car? This trend has gotten way outa hand since the Fast and Furious came out. Most of the rice boys hate on that movie but still try and be just like them. But what could be worse then the big wings, big mouth body kits, altezza tails and fart pipes? If you guess front wheel drive, pull your e-brake burn outs you guessed right. Not only does this stink up the clean air we breathe but it also looks dumb as hell. You wanna smoke something go smoke a blunt. Take that shit back to NOPI cause its fools like this that are ruining the good minitruck shows that are few and far between.So let’s recount what was just said to make it easy to understand. Rice SUCKS, custom trucks are dope. Go to your planet before you get dragged upon!R.I.P.The Devil
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