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How ya'll is? Man, oh man...it's December already!! The chill is in the air, cool weather is on the way,(here in Texas, we don't really get cold until January, so we still wear shorts and t-shirts during the holidays) so it's almost time to drag out the winter clothes. Pretty cool, huh?Anyhow, since it is December, you know that I'm gonna have to go back to the archives and dust off the "MiniTruckers Night Before Christmas", but before I turn that classic bit of literature on you, I just want to take a moment to say thank you to my friends, just knowing that ya'll are they means more than you could know, and also to my beautiful wife and children...this has been a tough year, especially the last few weeks, but we will make it through.And now, without any further hullaballoo and presented in it's entirety, commercial free.........A MINITRUCKIN CHRISTMAS!!!!!'Twas the show before Xmas, when all through the park, not a creature was stirring, not even the drunk, Mark. The chamois were hung by the campfire with care, in hopes that St. Nick would soon drag by there;The crew was passed out, some even by their beds, while visions of nekked hotties danced in their heads; my girl in her nightie, and I in my drawers, had just layed down and begun to snore.When out by the trucks, there arose such a clatter, I fell out of the bed, and couldn't see what was the matter. Away to my ride I flew like a flash, tore open the door and scooped up my stash.The moon glistened off of the dew on my hood, gave the lustre of mid-day, damn it looked really good. When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear, but a doordraggin crewcab, with 8 exotic dancers in the rear. A little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. Laying with hydros, his coursers so tame, he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;"Now, KITTY! Now, SUNSHINE! Now, SPARKLES and KANDI! On, LUSCIOUS! On RAVEN! On MISTI, and BRANDY!! To the top of the cab! To the top of the shell! Now drag away! Drag away! Drag away he yelled!
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As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the main stage the dancers did go, with the truck full of goodies that St Nick drove. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the tonneau, the prancing and pawing of each girls stiletto. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, up on the stage St. Nicholas did bound. He was dressed trimmed in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all garnished with gold and loot; A bundle of trophies he had flung on his back, And he looked like a pimp, about to unleash a smack.His eyes -- how they were glazed! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as new fallen snow;The stump of a blunt he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a big beer belly, that shook, when he laughed and his breath was smelly.He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old pimp, and I snorted when I saw him, he walked with a limp; A wink of his eye and a twirl of his cane, soon gave me to know I was part of the game;He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled all the fishnets, then turned with a jerk. Laying his finger on his switches, and with a twitch, the truck rose 8 inches;He tapped the throttle, the Vortech did whistle, and away they all flew, like a big purple missile. But I heard him yell out, as he drove out of sight,"HOOTERS FOR ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to one and all from Explicit Concepts and the crew at StreetSourceMag.com! Till next month, hell NEXT YEAR, keep your wheels spinnin' and the beavers grinnin'! Jeff Miller, with help from Shey Cox www.explicit-concepts.com
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